As a Nigerian parent raising my kids in the UK. I enjoy blending my Nigerian and British parenting styles. It helps me create a balanced approach that brings out the best of both cultures!
Recently, my youngest daughter, Somma, who is eleven, was invited to a sleepover. Our family has a no-sleepover rule until a certain age. My kids have told their closest friends about this rule.
Before I could respond to the invite, the host contacted me to ask if Somma could still come to the party. Even if she couldn’t stay for the sleepover, as her daughter reminded her of our no-sleepover rule.
I happily agreed to this. And let her know that I would be picking Somma up just before bedtime so she could join in on all the fun.
The truth is that, no matter how strong your cultural values are, the environment you live in will influence your parenting. Your child will receive invitations to sleepovers, parties and will experience peer pressure.
You might find yourself wondering how to preserve your Nigerian roots while also embracing British parenting practices. The good news is that there are simple and practical steps you can take to achieve this balance.
Let’s check out 5 powerful ways to blend Nigerian and British parenting that will work for you.
Differences And Similarities Between Nigerian And British Parenting
Nigerian and British parenting styles may differ in discipline, family roles, and expectations. Yet both are committed to a child’s safety, growth, and future.
When you celebrate both the differences and similarities in your family. You can create a warm and balanced atmosphere together. In every culture, love and support are important, and they show up through their unique traditions.
Here is a quick comparison:
| Value/Practice | Nigerian Style | British Style |
|---|---|---|
| Respect for elders | Strong focus. Calls elders auntie, uncle, ma, sir etc | Some focus. Calls elders by first name |
| Discipline | Strict, direct | Explains, negotiates |
| Emotional expression | Less open, practical support | Open, verbal encouragement |
| Independence | Later, under parental guidance | Encouraged early |
| Family role of child | Contribute to chores. respect rules and boundaries | Voice opinions, make choices |
5 Powerful Ways to Blend Nigerian and British Parenting in the UK
A powerful way to blend Nigerian and British parenting will mean combining traditional and modern values.
1. Respect And Independence
Growing up in Nigeria, I learnt the importance of respecting my elders. I was taught to greet adults warmly, listen to them, and help out with family chores. While times may have changed, I still believe these values are essential for building strong connections.
British parenting, on the other hand, encourages children to express their opinions and build independence from an early age.
You can blend these values by modelling them to your child. You can also teach your child respectful language and manners. While teaching them positive ways to challenge and resolve conflicts.
For example, let your child help with chores but also allow them to pick hobbies or suggest family activities.
Tips to Try:
- Set clear expectations for respectful behaviour at home and outside. I constantly remind my children about the importance of speaking positively to one another.
- Listen actively to your child’s ideas and opinions.
- Give opportunities for your child to solve problems on their own.
2. Balancing Academic Achievement And After School Activities
Nigerian parents often put special focus on school success. They expect high grades and disciplined study habits. British parents may value academic work, but they also stress activities like sports, art, and social skills.
To balance both, you can encourage a strong work ethic and set study schedules but also support your child’s interests outside school.
Example routine:
| Time | Activity |
|---|---|
| 4:00–5:00pm | Homework and study |
| 5:00–6:00pm | Sports or hobbies |
| 6:00–7:00pm | Family time or reading |
3. Navigating Cultural Identity and Belonging
Growing up in the UK, your child may face questions about their identity. They might feel torn between their Nigerian heritage and British culture.
You can teach your child about your cultural identity by doing things such as
- Celebrating your Nigerian traditions at home.
- Incorporating cultural elements into daily life
- Teach your child to be proud of their Nigerian names
- Talk to your child about your own experiences
At the same time, encourage them to take part in British traditions which align with your values. Let them share how they feel about things like fitting in, making friends, or learning both languages.
This helps them grow proud of their background, gain confidence, and find their place.
4. Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution
Nigerian families may rely on authority-based parenting, while British styles often include negotiation and calm discussions.
You can blend them by setting clear rules, but always explaining your reasons. When conflicts happen, give your child a chance to talk. Listen first, then share your views calmly.
Steps to follow:
- Stay calm and patient during disagreements.
- Invite your child to explain their feelings.
- Use “I” statements, like “I feel…” to reduce blame.
- Work together to find solutions.
This builds mutual trust and helps children learn to manage disagreements with respect.
5. Building a Supportive Community Network
Blending cultures can feel lonely for both parents and children. Joining a network gives you support and a sense of belonging. Look for Nigerian or African community organisations in your area. Attend cultural events or parent groups.
At the same time, get involved in your child’s school or neighbourhood. Volunteering or joining school meetings helps you connect with other parents from different backgrounds.
These relationships offer practical help and emotional support. They also help your child see the value of connecting with people from both cultures.
Conclusion
If you are trying to raise kids in two cultures. You are not alone! Just remember that you don’t always have to choose one over the other.
You can blend your Nigerian and British parenting styles to ensure a good balance. I call it the best of both worlds. Why only eat jollof when you can have Sunday roast as well?
