Challenges of raising African kids in the diaspora blog post series 2. This blog post will focus on 3 ways to help your child make good fashion choices.
A few years ago, my oldest daughter asked for a specific brand of a winter jacket. I told her without hesitation that I would look into it. I thought to myself “If she likes this jacket and it’s nice and warm, why not?” I also noticed that some of her peers wore this jacket, so I figured it had to be comfortable and reasonably priced.
However, after doing some research, I discovered that although it was nice and warm, it was a very expensive jacket for a girl her age. I looked at another brand that she suggested, and it was even more expensive than the first.
I decided that I needed to take my conversations with her about money to the next level. I took advantage of the opportunity to reinforce what I had already taught her about money, needs, and wants. In addition, I reaffirmed our family values, which do not align with “keeping up with the Joneses”.
We eventually settled on a winter jacket from Ted Baker that was on sale and did not break the bank.
How Parents Can Help Their Children Make Good Fashion Choices
As children grow older, they develop their own personalities, including their sense of fashion. Peer pressure and media images can influence their fashion choices.
Teenagers, in particular, dress to look good, to fit in, or to impress others. It is important that parents encourage their children to develop their own style while also helping them in making good fashion choices.
The winter jacket incident with my daughter taught me that as an African parent raising kids with dual cultures. Regardless of the cultural and religious values instilled in my children. I am likely to come across the following:
- My kids are likely to gravitate toward the things that they see in their environment and may want to do some of the things their peers are doing. They may ask for expensive brands of clothing, the latest phones/gadgets, wear revealing or inappropriate outfits etc
What you can do as a parent:
- You must allow yourself to grow as a parent. This is achieved by listening to your child’s point of view on issues, even if you disagree with it. Compromise is key so you must be open to learning new ways of parenting. And unlearning old ones that are no longer effective.
3 Ways To Help Your Child Make Good Fashion Choices
1. Continue To Have Open And Honest Conversations
Continue to speak to your child about their image. Encourage your child to develop his or her own fashion style, but guide them appropriately if you notice that they are not on the right track.
To assist your child in making good fashion choices, they must first understand why they cannot dress like some of their peers.
Explain to your child, for example, that an expensive brand of trainers is out of your price range. Give them a choice of other more affordable options.
Do your own research as a parent. In addition, speaking to other trusted African parents who have older children or children the same age as yours is very helpful.
This allows you to put things into context and gather information to help you make a more informed decision.
2. Reiterate Your Family Values
Educate your child about the cultural or sexual fashion messages they are receiving from media images and their peers. Encourage them to develop their unique style and reinforce that they don’t have to dress a certain way to fit in with their peers.
Explain what is inconsistent with your family’s values. Remind them that money and body image is not a guarantee of happiness.
3. Pray
If your child, particularly a teenager, is constantly pushing the boundaries with their fashion style. And it’s becoming a source of worry for you. Choose your battles wisely, negotiate, and compromise.
Most importantly, pray to God to give you the wisdom to handle this situation effectively. Also, pray that the Holy Spirit will intercede and bring about the best outcome.
Conclusion
This blog post is part of the Challenges of raising African kids in the diaspora blog series. Series 2 blog post has focused on 3 ways to help your child make good fashion choices.
The next blog post series 3 will look at how to help your kids navigate social relationships effectively. Let me know in the comments what other tips you have for helping your child in making good fashion choices.
