Talking to your daughter about her first period is something you must do. This is because every girl remembers her first period.
There is bound to be a story behind it, one of happiness, confusion, fear, or even anger. Your goal is to ensure that your daughter’s experience is as positive as possible.
Some of the barriers to parents talking to their daughters about their first period are culture and family dynamics.
These factors play a big part in how your own parents prepared you for this major milestone in your life. Some parents gave proper education, while others felt ashamed or did not have the appropriate skills to do this.
Consequently, some preferred to use euphemisms leaving the child to their own imagination. Some other girls simply learned by watching older siblings or relatives.
I belong to the latter group. Which made me decide that I will educate my daughters about their first period when they come along. Fortunately for me, I am blessed with 3 girls, which has given me ample opportunities to keep that promise.
Whatever category you belong to, talking to your daughter about her first period is something you must do sooner rather than later. She will be glad you did (maybe not immediately, but in the future)!
Here are some tips to help you start this conversation today and keep it going.
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How To Talk To Your Daughter About Her First Period
1. Talk To Your Daughter About Her First Period Now
Ideally, parents/caregivers should be the first people to teach a child about their physical health and development.
Do not think that your toddler or younger child is too young to understand periods. In fact, you should seize opportunities to bring up the conversations about periods.
This can be in response to questions asked when you are shopping for sanitary products or when your child sees sanitary products advertised on TV.
This is a good time to offer age-appropriate education about how the human body functions and how females need sanitary products for their monthly period. This conversation will continue to evolve as your child grows into a tween and is ready for a more in-depth conversation.
It is less daunting for your daughter if this conversation is drip-fed to her, instead of waiting for the one “big period talk”. Most importantly, starting the conversations at an early age prepares your child in the event she starts her period earlier than anticipated.
According to the NHS, the average age for girls to start their first period is 12 but some girls start as early as 8. Whilst having these conversations may not come naturally to some parents, just remember the reasons you are doing this.
Also, remember that if you don’t talk to your daughter about her first period. She is likely to get this information from her peers in school or from the internet unsupervised. This leaves room for your child to learn half-truths about periods and puberty.
Another benefit of talking to your daughter about her first period is to gain her trust. This will make her confident to seek your help as soon as her period starts.
2. Find Out What Your Daughter Knows About Periods
When your daughter becomes a tween(from 8/9 years old) ask her what she already knows about periods and clear up any misconceptions.
Explain why girls get period and the signs to watch out for. In addition, explain what to expect on the first day of her period and reassure her if she has any fears.
Talk positively about periods and consider sharing your own story (if applicable). Also, explain to your child that this is a normal developmental process that girls go through.
Let her know that boys go through their own share as well, ie voice breaking, wet dreams, facial hair, etc. You don’t have to go into details if you don’t want to, but enough for her to get the gist.
3. Devise A Plan
You and your daughter should devise a plan of action in case her period starts in school or when she is away from home. Agree on:
- What to do. Remind her not to panic
- Whom to talk to. A teacher or trusted adult
- Supply a period starter kit also called the first-period kit and correct underwear for this.
- Do a role-play and show your daughter how to use sanitary products. I recommend starting with a sanitary towel first as this is easier for beginners.
This is your opportunity to mention that her changing body means she can now have a baby.
Equip her with additional resources like books and videos so she can gain more information. Make sure you check out any materials you give your child to see you are happy with the contents.
Here are two recommended books that teach about periods in an age-appropriate way:
- Susan’s Growing Up(Books beyond words) by Sheila Hollins
- The Girls’ Guide to Growing Up By Anita Naik
4. Discuss Personal Hygiene During Periods
Discuss personal hygiene during periods and proper disposal of products. Be prepared to offer help and advice with other issues which may arise such as choosing which sanitary product to use, the right bra, deodorant, etc.
Answer all questions honestly.
5. Treat Her Like A Queen When It Arrives
Treat your daughter like a queen when her period eventually arrives. Do something special to celebrate this significant event in her life.
Explain that she can continue with her normal activities during her period, but may experience period cramps which are normal. They are usually treated with painkillers. Make your daughter feel comfortable enough to talk about her period freely with you.
Conclusion
The blog post focuses on how to talk to your daughter about her first period. It looks at ways that you can prepare your daughter and empower her to make this significant event as positive as possible.
Further Resources
- Susan Growing Up (Books beyond words) By Sheila Hollins is a picture book about periods and puberty for people with learning disabilities.
- The Girls’ Guide to Growing Up By Anita Naik is a positive guide for girls, which explains the changes their bodies will go through as they approach puberty.
- Period Log Book For Teen Girls is a logbook for monitoring your menstrual cycle and PMS effectively.
- Magic Girl- Teen Period Tracker is a teen and ovulation calendar available on iPhone and Android. This app is specifically geared towards tween and teen girls, with animations and journal functions.
Very helpful. 👍👍
Hi Ify,
Glad you found it helpful. Thanks for stopping by.
Really helpful, my mum never told me about and I became in panic when I had my first period
Glad you found it helpful. Very important to share with our little ones.
Fab post thank you. My 9 (nearly 10) year old daughter has been asking questions about getting her period. We talk openly and honestly about it but one thing I never thought to mention that you have said is that it means she can now have a baby! It never crossed my mind to talk about that. Thank you – very informative post!
You are definitely doing the right thing by starting early to pass on the info before her period starts. It’s also important to add that little piece of info. You can go into details as time goes on.