Challenges of raising African kids in the diaspora blog post series 3. This blog post will focus on how to help your kids navigate social relationships effectively.
My two older children enjoy socialising with their friends and would usually make plans to meet up for one activity or the other. This is something I support with reason. As I am well aware, that good friendships can boost a teenager’s self-esteem and is beneficial to their mental health and wellbeing.
On the other hand, there are some social situations in which my children have yet to participate in, one of which is sleepovers. Many African parents frown on sleepovers. Perhaps because it is not a part of our culture.
My girls have never had a sleepover outside of the homes of close family members. We have a policy against sleeping over at a friend’s house. Things may change in the future, but for the time being, this works very well for us.
My kids have declined sleepovers or left places earlier than usual to avoid going past their curfew. We have even turned down party invitations because I was unsure of the level of supervision available. I’ve explained to my daughters that every family does things differently, I’ve also mentioned that the differences between households are determined by culture and value system.
How To Help Your Kids Navigate Social Relationships Effectively
One of the social challenges that African teenagers in the diaspora face is the pressure to assimilate into western culture. More so when the majority of their friends do not share their culture or values. Or when their friends play by different rules than they do.
Your teen may feel compelled to conform to what society expects of them. This can lead to frustrations for you and even for your child. They may even wish to abandon certain aspects of their culture which they feel are not “cool”. When this happens, some African parents may feel they are failing in their responsibilities as custodians of their culture.
Consequently, parents may become overly strict and stifle their child’s outgoing personalities. This can cause problems at home and can lead to your child resenting their culture because it differs from that of the majority group.
Read on to learn how to help your kids navigate social relationships effectively.
Top Tips For Parents
- Have open and honest discussions with your child about their friendships and any social situations that make them feel uneasy. Discuss racism with your child so that they are aware of its existence and what to do if and when they encounter it.
- Remember that your child is navigating two cultures, so be patient with them. Let them enjoy the positive aspects of both cultures because it will help them broaden their worldview.
- Explain to your child that every family does things differently. As a result, some of their friends may be following different rules from them. Mention how cultural and value systems influence the differences between households.
- Make sure your child understands your family values, and explain why they exist and what purpose they serve.
- Discuss safety with your child and what to do if they feel unsafe in any social situation when they are out and about.
- Give your child some flexibility with reason. Be that parent your child can turn to if they have any problems.
- Get to know their friends. Encourage them to bring friends home and offer to drop them off when they go out with friends. This will help you understand the dynamics of their friendships.
- If your child is a social butterfly who is regularly invited to social gatherings, teach him or her how to prioritise and decline some invitations.
- Identify your child’s interests and encourage them to participate in extracurricular activities. This will enable them to socialise while also learning useful skills.
- Talk to your child about social media and how to use it responsibly.
- Discuss healthy relationships with them and model this in your own relationship with your spouse and others.
- Discuss period, sex, and dating with your teen. If you don’t have this conversation, chances are they’ll find out from someone else. And it could simply be incorrect information.
Conclusion
This blog post is part of the challenges of raising African kids in the diaspora blog series. Series 2 blog post focused on 3 ways to help your child make good fashion choices. Series 3 blog post has looked at how to help your kids navigate social relationships effectively.
The next blog post series 4 will look at parenting and discipline. Let me know in the comments what other tips you have to help your kids navigate social relationships effectively.
