On my wedding anniversary, I am reflecting on how far we have come on this journey and the 17 things I’ve learnt after 17 years of marriage.
My husband and I have actually been married for more than 17 years, as we had our registry wedding back in 2005. It’s hard to believe that 17 years has passed since then. Time has flown by so quickly!
I still remember the first long-distance phone call after my mother told me that her friend’s son was going to call me from “London.” It turned out he was calling from Liverpool! I was reluctant to pick up the phone at first, but that call eventually became something I looked forward to.
I’ll never forget that first meeting at Murtala Muhammed Airport in Lagos and how everything fell into place from there. We had our registry wedding in September 2005, followed by our traditional and white weddings in January 2007.”The rest, as they say, is history.
After 17 years of marriage, things have been pretty busy around here. With 3 kids, 3 house moves, career changes, many milestones, highs and lows. Despite it all, our love has remained unwavering, to the glory of God.
17 Things I've Learnt After 17 Years Of Marriage
To celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary. I decided to share 17 things I’ve learnt after 17 years of marriage.
1. Marriage Is A Partnership- It requires a joint effort to make it work. Just like in a business partnership, both partners have to be committed to working together and supporting each other.
2. Compromise– You will experience different seasons in marriage. Although it may seem like a roller coaster, be prepared to compromise and remain flexible.
3. Communication Is Key– Even though your spouse is the love of your life, they are not a mind reader. Talk and listen to each other always.
4. Be Intentional- Marriage should be enjoyed, not endured. Be intentional about making your marriage work.
5. Make God The Centre Of Your Home– and see how he makes all things beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
6. Love Language– Understanding each other’s love language is crucial in marriage. My husband’s love language is acts of service, while mine is words of affirmation. Despite having different love languages, we make an effort to cater to each other’s needs. It’s all about being intentional and showing love in ways that are meaningful to each other.
7. Shared Goals- While opposites may attract. Having similar values, dreams, and goals is important for long-term relationship success.
8. Roles– There are often gender-defined roles in marriage. However, the willingness of both parties to step into the other person’s shoes is what helps to make the bond stronger.
9. Peace- is non-negotiable in every marriage. Remaining in a toxic relationship will have a detrimental effect on you and your children.
10. Romance– Make time for dates and physical intimacy. It helps to cement your bond.
11. Parenting– Support each other’s parenting decisions and present as a united front to your children.
12. Self-Care- As much as I love my hubby and the life we have together. I also love me-time. I feel that it’s equally important to make time for yourselves as you do for each other.
13. Gifts– Never stop giving each other gifts. In the 17 years of our marriage, Hubby and I have not stopped exchanging gifts and making a big deal of milestones and special occasions.
14. Conflicts- It’s always best to work together to resolve any conflicts that may arise in your marriage. Avoid speaking negatively about each other.
15. Praise– Be each other’s greatest cheerleader. Never stop praising and encouraging each other.
16. Children- are a blessing in every marriage, but remember, you started without them and they will flee the nest some day. Regardless of how busy it gets with the kids, make time for each other.
17. Service– Serving together is fulfilling. This can be service to God, your community, or doing something to help others. As Christians the bible says that “each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
I really enjoyed this piece
Thanks Kiki.